


Who you are to me

by AnnaTheHank



Series: CrowGabe [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Crowley Was Raphael Before Falling (Good Omens), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gabriel Redemption (Good Omens), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memories of Heaven, Non-Graphic Violence, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, South Downs Cottage (Good Omens), Suicide Attempt, identity crisis, metaphysical torture, that seems to be a trend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 13:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21375121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaTheHank/pseuds/AnnaTheHank
Summary: Gabriel goes searching for Raphael, only to find he turned into the demon known as Crowley. With no war and no love, Gabriel decides to turn into a star. Crowley saves him, but his past starts to make itself known, and he has to accept and acknowledge his old identity if any of them are going to move past this.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley/Gabriel (Good Omens), Gabriel/Raphael (Good Omens)
Series: CrowGabe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550014
Comments: 14
Kudos: 124





	Who you are to me

**Author's Note:**

> So. I may be about 3 days behind on Nano but uh  
I have this so I'm okay with that lol. The world needs some more soft Crowley/Gabriel and y'all can fight that on me. I didn't put a warning cause I'm pretty sure the violence is non graphic, but I'm also a bad judge of character.  
Thank you all so much for stopping by to read <3 I hope you enjoy this lil weird thing my brain came up with <3

Gabriel tapped his fingers against his desk. He’s been doing that for a few days now. Thinking. Aziraphale had survived the fire. It was possible it wasn’t real hell fire. There was no way to really test it. And Crowley had survived what they knew to be holy water so it just seemed true. Aziraphale had become...something. Not human. Not angel. Not demon. Something else all together.

Gabriel sighed and spun his chair around. His hands folded before him, the tips of his fingers pressed to his lips, and he stared out at the landscape beyond his window. He hadn’t left his office since. The truth was, he was confused. Dare he say lost. He didn’t know what to do next. About anything. No war. No punishment. What was there left to do?

For not the first time since the fall, Gabriel’s thoughts turned to _him_. He swallowed, his mouth dry at the prospect. He had always been too afraid to go. Since he didn’t go the first time. But he had nothing else to lose. Best case scenario, Raphael would know what to do next. He would forgive Gabriel for not going with him. At the least, Gabriel would get to see him one last time before…

But when Gabriel reached Alpha Centauri, there was no one there. He searched everywhere, calling out for Raphael. This was the place they were supposed to go. Why wasn’t Raphael here? Gabriel stilled between the three stars that made up the system. There was only one explanation. Raphael got tired of waiting for him and went off somewhere else. Gabriel sighed, his true form shifting against the vacuum of space. There was a lot of universe to look through. But looking for Raphael was the only thing he knew to do.

Weeks later and Gabriel finally returned to his office, convinced that Raphael knew he was looking for him, and was moving as Gabriel did. It hurt. But it was better than the alternative. Because if Raphael wasn’t in heaven, and he wasn’t somewhere in the cosmos, then the only place he could be was…

Gabriel’s jaw quivered. He couldn’t stand to think it. Raphael. His Raphael. In that horrid place? It wasn’t possible. It had to be a mistake it had…

Eyes. 

Yellow eyes. Crowley’s yellow eyes. He imagined what they would look like golden. They looked...familiar.

But no. No! Raphael couldn’t be a demon. He left! Like they had planned. Heaven started going down and he left. Only Gabriel didn’t go with him. Only he can’t find him. Only those eyes…

Gabriel called a meeting.

“I have a plan,” he said. “A way to properly punish the traitors.”

“Let’s hear it then,” Michael said, already looking bored with the conversation, convinced that Gabriel’s plan was ridiculous before even hearing it.

“We kidnap the demon Crowley.”

The others stared at him. 

“Kidnap the demon?” Uriel asked. Gabriel nodded. Really, it wasn’t that hard of a concept to grasp.

“They have been...living together,” Michael said. “Since the incident.”

“Keeping them apart will punish them both,” Gabriel continued. They all studied him with wary looks. As if they didn’t believe that was true. Gabriel may have had ulterior motives for this, but it would punish them. If, that is, what they felt for each other was true. For he had had that. And loosing it had nearly broken him.

Besides. It didn’t matter if it didn’t work. If Gabriel’s hunch was true, no one would even think about Aziraphale again, not after he brought Raphael back. Everyone missed him. And they wouldn’t say anything against Gabriel lying a bit to return him home.

“It won’t be easy getting to him,” Uriel said. “They’ve been cautious.”

“We’ll find something,” Gabriel assured them. He nodded. This was the right thing to do. He would get Raphael back and then he would fix everything.

-

It took a few more months before they finally got their chance. Aziraphale and Crowley may have been cautious, but they were starting to get comfortable. And when you get comfortable you slip up. You forget a section of your so called ‘cottage’ when you’re freshening up the protective runes. You fall asleep with just enough room for an angel to sneak in. 

You wake up in heaven, wide, yellow eyes searching the room for the angel you know isn’t there.

“It’s alright, Raphael,” Gabriel said. He stood before the table that Crowley was tied down to. He had convinced the others that it was best for Crowley's punishment to be left alone. And perhaps it would have been a good punishment. But Gabriel was here for another reason.

“What the fuck?” Crowley asked. He tested the ropes, finding he could not break free. “Let me go! Where’s Aziraphale?”

“It’s okay.” Gabriel tried to reassure him but Crowley wasn’t listening. He just kept struggling and shouting, saying all kinds of things unbefitting of an angel. “Be quiet!” Gabriel commanded. 

Crowley’s mouth snapped shut. His eyebrows furrowed and he mumbled as he tried to open it again. 

“I’m sorry to have to do that,” Gabriel said, meaning it fully. “But you really do need to calm down.”

Crowley stopped trying to talk, body still struggling against the binds as he glared at Gabriel. Gabriel studied those eyes and decided that, yes, in the proper shade of gold, they would match Raphael’s just fine. 

“Aziraphale is safe,” Gabriel said. Crowley squinted at him. “I promise.” The squint only deepened.

Crowley mumbled out something that sounded a bit like, “What do you want?”

Gabriel put his hand over Crowley’s sternum, pressing gently against it. “I’m going to get you back, Raph. No matter what.”

Crowley’s face scrunched up in confusion. Gabriel closed his hand in a fist and then it turned to pain. He couldn’t stand to watch so he closed his eyes, focusing all of his energy on the soul his fingers were grasping at. Somewhere in there was Raphael. Somewhere hidden behind six thousand years of Crowley was the love that Gabriel had come to know, and the love that he desired nothing more than to get back.

And he could feel it. It was just there. If he just dug a little bit deeper he was sure he could grab it, could pull it out, bring it to attention. 

“Let him go!” 

Aziraphale’s voice. His hands on Gabriel’s arm, trying, foolishly, to pull him away. But Gabriel couldn’t let him. Not when he was so close.

Gabriel reached back, grabbing Aziraphale back, tight, powerful. He was an archangel after all, and he wasn’t going to let Aziraphale stop him. He held Aziraphale away and pressed further into Crowley, desperately grasping for Raphael.

Then he found him. And time stopped. And Gabriel was himself, his true self, all large and encompassing. And Raphael was as well. They were just two beings of unimaginable shape, one grasping desperately at the other. 

“You can let go.”

Gabriel opened his eyes. He was in his human form again, cramped and uncomfortable. Aziraphale was frozen, still fighting against Gabriel even though Gabriel was not currently holding him back. And Crowley was still on the table. But also standing before Gabriel.

He tightened his hold on Raphael’s arm, staring into those golden eyes he loved so much. “No. I’m not letting go.”

“Gabriel.” Raphael placed his hand on top of Gabriel’s. It was cold. His head shook. 

“I’m taking you back,” Gabriel explained. “You’re coming home.”

Raphael smiled but it was not a happy one. “You took me from my home, Gabriel. On Earth.”

“No!” This wasn’t how this was supposed to go at all. Raphael was supposed to be happy, grateful even. Gabriel had found him and was going to find a way to bring him back to heaven. They were supposed to be together. “Your home is here. With me.”

Raphael stepped closer. He grabbed Gabriel’s face, Gabriel’s hand still refusing to let go of his arm. “It was. Once.”

“It still is,” Gabriel told him. 

“You have to let me go, Gabriel.”

“No. No, this is wrong. We belong together. I can bring you back. And you can forget this whole Crowley nonsense.”

Raphael tried to keep his smile up, but it was faltering a bit. “I am Crowley.”

Gabriel shook his head, Raphael’s hold on his face releasing. “No.”

Raphael licked his lips and looked down at his body on the table. He closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. “I can’t come back, Gabriel. And you know that. All this is going to do is make things worse for you.”

“I’m sorry!” Gabriel leaned forward, pressing his face against Raphael’s. “I’m sorry that I didn’t go with you to Alpha Centauri. I’m sorry that I couldn’t leave. But I’m here, and you’re here, and everything will be better.”

“Please let go,” Raphael said, his voice broken even as he pressed back against Gabriel’s face. “It’s time. And I would hate to have to force you.”

Gabriel reached over and grabbed Raphael’s other arm. “No. I’m not losing you again, Raph. Even if we have to live forever like this.”

“We can’t.” Raphael placed a small kiss to Gabriel’s cheek. “I’m sorry.”

And then there was a shock of electricity, sparking right against Gabriel’s sternum. It was so powerful and strong that Gabriel stumbled back, releasing both Crowley and Aziraphale as he backed into the wall.

Aziraphale was more than mad. He fixed his clothes and went after Gabriel, looking to all the world like a man ready to murder. And Gabriel didn’t move away.

“Angel, wait!” Crowley was sitting up, the ropes no longer existing. He slid off, stumbling a bit as he stood, and grabbed at Aziraphale’s shoulders. “Let’s just go.”

“Crowley! Are you all right, love?” He wrapped an arm around Crowley’s waist, steadying him. 

Crowley nodded, his body shaking. “Let’s just go home, okay?”

“But-”

“Please!”

Aziraphale looked back at Gabriel, who just waited. He didn’t have to say anything. The look in Aziraphale’s eyes spoke enough for him. It said ‘Don’t you dare come near us again’. And then they were gone.

-

Aziraphale had him pinned to the couch. He was laying on top of him, warm body squishing them together, pressing kisses to his jaw and neck. Crowley hugged him back and closed his eyes, lost in the sensation of his angel surrounding him so completely. 

“I’m sorry,” he did eventually croak out.

“Hush,” Aziraphale said. He tutted and kissed him on the lips. “It’s not your fault they kidnapped you.”

“I meant for stopping you.” Crowley pulled Aziraphale closer and buried his face in the crook of his neck.

“It’s alright, dear.” Aziraphale’s voice was soft, and it vibrated through Crowley’s body. “You had every right to want to get out of there as fast as possible. And I’m glad that we did.”

Crowley shook his head and just held on tighter. He couldn’t explain it. And even if he could, how could he tell Aziraphale that he, Crowley, wanted to protect Gabriel? How could he say that when he saw Aziraphale about to hurt him, it set off a panic reaction similar to finding Aziraphale’s bookshop in flames? How did he explain this strange new desire to defend someone who had tried to kill Aziraphale? It just wasn’t possible.

“I think he did something to me,” Crowley said. For it was the only explanation that made sense. “I think he like...put a spell on me or something.”

Aziraphale pushed himself up and Crowley released his tight hold. Aziraphale looked down at him, eyes searching his body, no, his soul for evidence. 

“I feel different,” Crowley told him. “Not...well, not really. But something is different. Like a feeling.” He sighed, deflating against the couch. “I don’t know. I can’t explain. I’m sorry.”

Aziraphale placed a kiss to his forehead. “It’s alright, love. I’ll just have to go pay him a little visit to figure it out.”

“No!” Crowley shot up, forcing Aziraphale back to his knees. There was so much panic at the thought. Fear for Aziraphale. Being alone in heaven. Fear for Gabriel…”You can’t go up there.” Then he got angry, the only way he knew how to react when he was confused. “You shouldn’t have even gone up there in the first place! What were you thinking?”

Aziraphale smiled, so used to Crowley that no outburst would ever fool him. He ran a hand through Crowley’s hair. “Well, I was thinking that the love of my life was in trouble and I was going to go save him, of course.”

Crowley frowned. He fell back down, head knocking against the arm of the couch. “Just don’t go up there alone. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

Aziraphale nodded. “Very well.” He placed his hands on Crowley’s chest. “Tell me what you feel.”

“Huh?”

“I need to know what’s different so I can figure out what he did to you.”

Crowley shook his head. “I can’t tell you.”

“I know feelings are hard to put into words,” Aziraphale said. “But just try.”

“No, Aziraphale. I...don’t...want...to.”

Aziraphale frowned and Crowley looked to the side. He wished he could disappear but that kind of thing was a lot harder with Aziraphale around. He wouldn’t let Crowley get away with it.

“Alright. I understand.” Crowley looked to Aziraphale but he didn’t seem upset or disappointed. Just concerned. 

“Really?”

Aziraphale smiled. “Of course, dear. I’ll get to work on figuring out what’s happened.” He laid back down on top of Crowley. “In a while that is.”

-

Crowley sat on the roof of their cottage, hugging his knees to his chest and looking at the stars. He was always calm looking at the stars. He could remember making them, but just that fact. Thinking about his life before hell was always difficult. There were fractions of memories he could grab onto. General ideas and concepts he could grasp. But he never remembered anything specific, no conversations, no names, no places. 

But he did remember the stars. And he was absolutely positive that _that_ star was not there before. Crowley stood up and stared at the offending object hanging in the sky. That most certainly was not one of his stars. He let his wings unfold against the sky and he jumped up, heading towards the intruder.

But what he found when he wound his way to it was not a star. But rather a star about to become. He frowned at it, watching the familiar swirl of energy that came from the power source, building out into a fully realized object of light. Only it wasn’t the usual heavenly core that Crowley had worked with. It was a soul. A soul that was turning into this sun. But the only kinds of souls that could generate enough energy for that were celestial ones.

Crowley knew who it was without having to think about it. “Gabriel!” He raced forward, standing before the soul, the heat and power of the emerging sun almost enough to burn him. He growled and reached in, hands grasping around at the intangible force that was Gabriel. 

A thousand eyes opened and stared at him. A voice that was more in his head than out of it spoke. “Raphael?”

“Yeah sure! Whatever! Just get out of there.” Crowley could almost get purchase, but every time he thought he had a hold on him, Gabriel seemed to slip away, like the corporeal parts of him were shifting around in circles. 

“There’s no point, Raph,” Gabriel said. The eyes closed. “There’s nothing left.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Crowley finally grabbed a part of Gabriel he could actually touch. He shouted out in celebration and started to pull.

“There’s no war to work for anymore,” Gabriel said. “What’s the point?”

Crowley growled again, deep and low. Mainly because he wasn’t even sure why he was doing this, why he was working so hard, putting himself in danger to rescue this idiot. All he knew was that he had to. He had to save him.

“There doesn’t have to be a point!” He pulled harder, unable to budge the soul that was willingly trapped inside the growing cosmic force. 

“I have no purpose anymore,” Gabriel continued. Crowley rolled his eyes. 

“Then find a fucking new one, idiot!” 

Crowley pulled with a strength he had forgotten. Shapes popped out from his form, his corporeal body shifting and changing into a design he had not been in over six thousand years. But he didn’t realize it. The thousand eyes that opened, however, did. They blinked, and all at once Gabriel’s soul was easier to move.

A pop sounded through the universe, traveling all over even though there was no such atmosphere for it to travel through. Gabriel tumbled out of the star, his soul stuffing back into a human body, a way to protect and contain itself as it rammed into Crowley, who’s soul had done a similar move. 

The two floated away from the star that was collapsing without its core, turning into nothing more than dust, the little remnants of the pieces of Gabriel it had managed to take. On a few places on Earth, scientists would look up through their telescopes. They would call everyone about the new star that had been there, and then that had no longer been there. It would all die down soon. They would realize that the first person to see it had just mistook a smudge on the screen for a star. And everyone else just thought they saw it. Their pictures would certainly prove that theory.

Gabriel’s body shivered in Crowley’s arms and he looked down. He did not like what he saw. Gabriel’s skin was chipped, eroded away, flaked off with bits of gold light radiating behind it. But the light was dim, soft, turned down. Crowley had lost most of what appeared when he pulled Gabriel free. But a second pair of wings, smaller, seemed to be sticking around. He wrapped them around Gabriel’s body, holding him close. 

“It’s okay,” he whispered, his other wings taking them home. “You’ll be okay.”

-

“Aziraphale!” Crowley had practically crashed through the door, unable to find his balance with both Gabriel and this new set of wings. He was lucky he got to the house at all, instead of accidentally ending up in Spain or something. “I need help!”

Gabriel was not breathing and Crowley had to remind himself that that was normal, that they didn’t have to. He was, however, dripping a strange silver liquid from his mouth that seemed to burn the ground as it dropped to it. 

Aziraphale was out of his library in a moment, standing in hall, watching as Crowley struggled under Gabriel’s weight. He gasped, eyes flashing from concern to anger in an instant. 

“Wait!” Crowley tried to call out. But Aziraphale was on them, grabbing Gabriel and tossing him to the side, which he did pretty easily. “No!” Aziraphale was, thankfully, surprised by how easy that was. Crowley flung himself to his knees, grabbing Gabriel’s shoulders and trying to pull him up. “He’s hurt.”

Aziraphale seemed to want to keep throwing Gabriel about, but his curiosity took hold. “What happened?”

Crowley dragged Gabriel over to the couch. He had not thought to put his wings away, and they knocked lamps and tables and stacks of books over. 

“Sorry,” he said, as he flopped Gabriel onto the couch. He felt a great exhaustion and settled down on his knees next to the couch. With one last burst of energy he folded his wings away, the extra set a strange and unusual pressure. 

“Are you okay?” Aziraphale asked. He was hovering, as if afraid to step closer. “Are you hurt?”

Crowley shook his head. “I’m fine.”

Aziraphale did take a step closer. “What happened?”

Crowley bit his lip and looked down at Gabriel. “This idiot was going to turn himself into a star. He...I pulled him out. But he was in there for a while. He’s hurt. His true form is hurt.”

“Perhaps you should have just left him in there,” Aziraphale said. 

That deep, painful panic was back, biting at Crowley’s stomach, sinking in him like a weight. “No,” he cried out, deep and desperate. He looked to Aziraphale confused. Confused because he knew that should not be the reaction he had. He should want Gabriel to die, as Aziraphale did. He should think that was an excellent idea. But it wasn’t.

“Oh. I see.” Aziraphale’s face fell and Crowley started to cry because now that deep panic was for Aziraphale. For the thought of losing him, especially over something so stupid as saving Gabriel, of all people. But then Aziraphale smiled and stepped up, a hand running through Crowley’s hair. “Of course, my dear. I meant nothing of it. You absolutely should have saved him. How about some tea? To help calm you down?”

Crowley stared at him, thinking that Aziraphale was the one that needed the tea with how crazy he was acting. Crowley nodded because tea, he figured, would do them both good. Aziraphale smiled and leaned down, kissing the top of Crowley’s head before walking off to the kitchen.

Crowley looked back over at Gabriel. He had one arm slung over, fingers brushing against the rug. It sent a shiver down Crowley’s spine. Because, much like whenever he saw Aziraphale lounging around, all he wanted to do was curl up against his side. He fought that urge, however. Pulling Gabriel out of a star was one thing. Snuggling up to him was another. 

Crowley got to his feet and brushed himself off. He looked around at the mess he had made and winced. He had wrecked Aziraphale’s books. Some of them with bent pages or busted spines. He picked them up, popping them back to their usual condition. And then, he wasn’t in the cottage anymore.

-

He’s lying in the grass, hands behind his head, staring up at the stars. He liked the view from down here. Up in heaven you couldn't really see the stars. And out there among them you couldn't understand the true space of them. The universe was huge, and you could only really appreciate it from Earth. From Eden.

Then someone appears behind him, ready to interrupt his peaceful moment. But he smiles when they speak, because it’s the only angel he didn't mind being interrupted by.

"Raphael," Gabriel says. "Good, I've been looking for you everywhere!" 

Crowley tips his head back, blinking at Gabriel with a smile. "Really? You've been _everywhere?_"

Gabriel nods. "All over heaven anyway. What are you doing down here? You're not supposed to be on Garden Duty for another month."

Crowley smiles and pats the grass beside him, turning his attention back to the sky.

Gabriel walks over and lays down beside him, their shoulders pressed together in a comfortable and familiar touch. Then he starts squirming, shifting about, his face scrunching up like he's trying to work out a particularly difficult math problem.

"You alright over there, squirmy?" Crowley asks, smiling fondly to ease the words said.

"How can you stand to be in these bodies?" Gabriel asks. He rolls his shoulders back, arching off the ground a bit. "They're so small. And tight. And clustered. And filled with all kinds of unnecessary things."

Crowley chuckles. "I think they're comfortable. Cozy."

"You can't even stretch your wings!"

"Oh, you could. They come out like this. Only, I suppose She would be cross with you if you did." Crowley looks back up at the sky, attention not on the stars but on heaven. He's not sure why God told them to keep their true forms away from the animals and humans. Figures it'll scare them or something.

Gabriel's body finally settles down next to his. "They're quite beautiful," he says, also looking up at the stars. "You did a good job."

"It wasn't just me. There were others and they did a lot more work."

Gabriel's head turns to look at him. "Aren't you the one who's always telling me to just accept the compliment?"

Crowley smiles and turns to look at him too. "Thank you, Gabriel."

Gabriel nods at them and they go back to looking at the stars. It's so comfortable, the silence between them, that it takes Crowley a moment to realize that Gabriel came there for a reason.

"Oh yes, what was it you needed?" he asks, looking back over. He finds he can't tell what he'd rather look at: The stars or Gabriel. Even in his human form, Gabriel is nice to look at.

"Hm?" Gabriel blinks and then startles. "Oh! Nothing in particular."

Raphael leans up on one elbow and looks down at his oldest and closest friend. "You said you were looking for me all over. I figured it was important."

"It's just hard to find anyone these days," Gabriel explains. "There's too many places for someone to be."

Crowley doesn't push it. This isn't the first time Gabriel came looking for him with nothing to say or talk about. He's starting to come to accept it as a new truth in their friendship.

Crowley sits all the way up and hugs his knees. His chin rests on his arms and he looks down the little hill to where Adam and Eve are sleeping under the canopy of trees. They're curled up together, Eve's head resting on Adam's chest. They look peaceful.

"You okay?" Gabriel asks. He sits up as well, his legs straight, arms extended behind him. "You look puzzled."

"Gabriel..." Crowley sighs. For a minute he almost doesn't say anything at all. But he figures that out of all the others, Gabriel was the one he could trust. "What do you suppose She's planning? With the humans I mean?"

"Planning? What do you mean?"

Crowley sighs again. He had so many thoughts in his head and he wasn't sure how to express them all. "I just...I feel like they're trapped inside bodies."

"Raph...they are meant to be in those bodies? It's why She made them."

"No. I didn't mean..." Gabriel shifts closer, the heat of his body almost too much to bear, the power of his soul radiating out of the seams. "I feel like they have all this potential. Like, their true forms are trapped. I know. It doesn't make any sense."

It didn't make any sense, not even to him. But that never stopped Gabriel from trying to understand. He was just like that. Crowley was forever curious and Gabriel was always trying to find answers for him.

"Maybe they're babies," he suggested.

Crowley furrowed his eyebrows. "Babies?"

"Yeah." Gabriel smiles, confident he had found the answer that Crowley sought. "You know, when animals have babies they're just...floppy. Or small and unknowing. They don't seem like the animals they should be. And their parents raise them to be knowing." He gestures to Adam and Even. "Maybe they're baby humans."

Crowley blinks and follows Gabriel's gesture. "They're a bit...big to be babies. Aren't they?"

Gabriel shrugs. "Uriel told me that the baby elephant she helped with the other day was rather large."

But they keep growing, Crowley thinks. How big were these humans supposed to get? "If that's true," he asks. "Then that means..."

"We're like their parents," Gabriel finishes for him. And there's something about thinking like that that makes Crowley warm.

"Explain," he says, because he can't bring himself to suggest the very obvious fact that he and Gabriel did not _reproduce_ and create them. 

"We're teaching them. Showing them the way. What's good, what's bad. You know?"

"What's good and bad?" Crowley looks to the side. A few feet away is the tree of knowledge. He studies it.

"Yes. We teach them their wrong ways when they do something bad, and we praise them when they do something good. We teach them the differences."

Crowley is only half listening. His eyes are still on the tree. They're teaching them the differences between good and evil, making sure they only ever do the right thing. But maybe there was an easier way to do that…

"Raph? Raph are you listening to me?"

"Huh?" Crowley shakes his head and looks back at Gabriel. He's frowning, which is weird. "Sorry. I got distracted."

Gabriel smiles again. "Anything good?"

Crowley studies his face. Not bad to look at at all. Even better to talk to. He made the decision to do this long ago, but he figures now's the time to actually do it. He leans over, pressing his lips to Gabriel's. Just for a moment. He pulls away, smiling, because it felt as good as he figured it would.

Gabriel blinks at him. "What was that?"

"It's uh," Crowley can feel his body heating up. He didn't think he'd have to explain it. "It's what the humans do. It's a way to show...love."

Gabriel's head tilts. "They just press their faces together?" Crowley can only nod. "Do I have to start doing that to everyone when I’m down here?"

"You better not!" Crowley says. Then he knows he's blushing and he hides his face in his arms.

"Are you okay?" Gabriel places a hand on Crowley's back, warm and radiant. "Your face is a weird color."

"Uh-huh. It's just. Uh. That's more of like an...exclusive love...thing."

"Exclusive love? What...what is that?"

Crowley groans. He doesn't even really know. "Never mind. It's nothing. Just...don't go doing that with anyone else, okay?" He lays back down, trying to return his face to its normal color.

Gabriel takes a moment, then lays down as well, their arms pressed closer together than ever before. "Raphael?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I still push my face against yours?"

Any hope Crowley's face had for looking normal is gone. "Uh. Yeah. Of course."

Gabriel shifts, turning on his side a bit. And he literally presses his face against Crowley's, nose digging into Crowley's cheek. Crowley bites the inside of his cheek to stop from laughing cause it's ridiculous. But he chuckles a little cause it's charming.

He shifts, his arm moving to wrap around Gabriel, his fingers tied up in his hair. He presses closer, tilting his head so they were more cheek to cheek than nose to cheek. He figures he doesn't know what God is planning. But as long as he got to stay there, with Gabriel, figuring out this exclusive love that neither of them truly understood, it would be okay with him.

-

“Here, darling.” A hand appeared on Crowley’s arm, jolting him back to the cottage. “Drink this.” Aziraphale held a cup of tea out to him.

“I’m not thirsty,” Crowley said. He couldn't get that image (that memory?) out of his head. 

“It’ll make you feel better. I promise.” Aziraphale smiled at him, nodding, and Crowley sighed, taking the cup. Aziraphale seemed pleased with himself and took over the task of cleaning up.

Crowley sipped at the tea and then frowned. It did not taste at all like tea, or anything, should taste like. But he certainly wasn’t going to tell Aziraphale that. He grimaced and chugged the rest of the tea. 

“Thanks.” He set the cup down on the coffee table and helped with picking things up. “Sorry about the mess.”

“That’s alright, love. How are you feeling?”

Crowley didn’t feel any different. But Aziraphale had gone through all the trouble. He nodded. “Better.”

“Good.” Aziraphale grabbed his arm and kissed his cheek. “Now, what do you say we take the lump back up to heaven and let them deal with it, hm?”

“No!” Crowley clamped his mouth shut and covered it with both his hands. It was like he wasn’t even talking. He shook his head at Aziraphale, trying to apologize with his eyes since his mouth could not be trusted. 

Aziraphale looked curiously at him. He picked up the cup and sniffed it. “No, that’s right. It should have worked. 

Crowley shook his head, eyes searching for answers. Fingers pressing tight into his cheeks.

“I figured that Gabriel put an infatuation spell on you. But, if he had, this should have fixed it.”

Crowley nodded. That had to be it! He didn’t actually care or have feelings for Gabriel. He was just under some sort of spell. There had to be something else they could do to get rid of it.

“Must have been something new.” Aziraphale frowned, hands on his hips, looking down at Gabriel with all the hatred he could muster. “We need him awake to tell us what he did. And for that we need an archangel. I’m sorry, dear. I know it doesn’t appeal to you, but we’re going to have to take him back up to heaven.”

Crowley blinked at him. Aziraphale sighed and grabbed Crowley’s wrists, gently pulling his hands away from his mouth. 

“He is quite hurt,” Aziraphale said. “Only an archangel could heal him.”

“Heal him?”

Aziraphale nodded. “He won’t wake up in this state. And he’s going to need someone much more powerful than me to help.”

“Help…”

Crowley looked down, mind in a haze. His eyes focused on a spot on Gabriel’s arm. It was flaked away, skin and muscle torn to reveal the cold, dim light of Gabriel’s soul. He reached out and touched it, healing it as if it was second nature. Ligaments and sinew, bone and skin crafted together, stretching across the expanse of Gabriel’s soul, sealing it in and covering it in warmth. 

“Crowley,” Aziraphale whispered. “How did you…”

Crowley barely heard him, didn’t even register that someone was speaking. He knelt down and his hands chased around, covering over the flakes on Gabriel’s skin, healing not just the human aches but the celestial ones as well. He was aware that Aziraphale had sat down next to him, but he only watched until Crowley’s job was done.

Crowley rested his hands on his knees and waited. One of Aziraphale’s hands reached over, covering his. “Crowley,” he whispered again. “I don’t think Gabriel put a spell on you.”

“Huh?” Crowley looked at him, the fog in his mind lifting. He blinked it away. 

“Dear...I think...I think I know who you were in heaven.”

Crowley shook his head. “What do you mean? No one can remember that kind of stuff.”

“It wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility to think that you were once the Archangel Raphael.”

Crowley stared at him. And then he laughed. Of all the ridiculous things to say, Aziraphale chose that one. The laugh died early in his throat when Aziraphale did not smile or join in. “What? Are you serious?”

“How else do you explain how you just did that?” Aziraphale gestured to Gabriel’s body. Crowley stuttered to find an answer. “And it explains, well, everything else.”

“How?”

“Well, dear, everyone knew.”

“Knew what!?”

Aziraphale just gave him a look. And Crowley shook his head. Because Aziraphale could not be implying what he thought he was implying. 

“Knew that Gabriel and Raphael were very deeply in love. In a way that no one really understood for a long time.”

Crowley stood up and walked out, following the line of silver bile out to the front yard of the cottage. There was no way. It was impossible. 

“Crowley! Wait!” Aziraphale chased after him, grabbed his arm before he could reach the end of their fence. 

“It’s not true!” Crowley said, spinning around. 

“But, Dear, well it makes sense.”

“No! Nothing about any of this makes sense!”

“It’s only because you can’t remember.”

“I’m not Raphael! I’m not in love with Gabriel! I’m Crowley and I’m in love with you!”

Aziraphale grabbed his face, thumbs smoothing down the wrinkles on his skin. “Yes, dear. You are you. And you do love me. But you _used_ to-”

“Stop!” Crowley pressed forward, burying his face in Aziraphale’s shoulders. “Please.”

Aziraphale’s arms wrapped around him, hands rubbing his back in soothing circles. “Of course, dear. I’m sorry.”

“We’ll just, we’ll wait until he wakes up. Cause then he can tell us what he did and we can fix it.”

“That’s right,” Aziraphale said. “We’ll fix it.”

-

Crowley decided to sleep until then. He didn’t feel entirely okay with leaving Aziraphale like that, alone with his mess, with Gabriel on the couch. But Aziraphale had agreed he needed some rest, so he tucked him in and Crowley fell asleep.

He never dreamed before. But as soon as his eyes were closed he was doing it. Well. He was doing something similar to it. He was remembering.

-

“Raphael! What are you doing here?” Crowley turns and looks at the young angel approaching him. He’s on Eden. He’s waiting. He’s been waiting. “Haven't you heard? They need you up there!”

The angel points to the skies but it is not the stars he’s alluding to. Crowley had heard. And he is waiting. Because he and Gabriel had made a promise. 

Cries shout out among the sounds of rain above. Flashes of light fly across the sky, almost like shooting stars. But they don’t land on the earth, they burrow through it, thrown down into yet another place for someone to hide.

The angel beside him shivers. “M-Michael needs you to help,” he says. “They need more power.”

Crowley looks to the stars. He waits. He waits for Gabriel to appear so they can go off together. Leave heaven and the war behind. 

“Raphael!” The angel shouts. 

Crowley blinks and nods. He could go off on his own. But he doesn’t want to. But he also doesn’t want to fight this stupid war. Doesn’t want to see angels cast out. There’s only one thing to do. He’ll go up there, he’ll find Gabriel, and he’ll drag him off. 

Crowley jumps up and does just that. Heaven is a mess, but he doesn’t expect anything less. It’s too much to look at. There’s fighting. There’s a mess of silver and gold splattering the walls. There’s shouts and cries and pain. And Raphael never wanted to witness this. But he has to find Gabriel.

So he flies around, all of his eyes looking at all of what’s going on. His gut twists, knowing the part he had to play in this. All he did was ask questions. He just asked them to the wrong person. He could trust Gabriel with his curiosities. Turned out, he could not trust Lucifer with such things.

“Raphael!” 

It is not Gabriel’s voice that stops him. But it is a familiar one. And Crowley gives in to it. He lands and folds his wings in, turning to face Michael. “I know you need my help,” he says. “But I have to find Gabriel first.”

Michael shakes her head. “I’m sorry. That’s not why you’re here.” Michael raises one hand, a bright sword of energy poised and ready.

A deep sense of panic forms in Raphael’s stomach and he’s too paralyzed to move. “Michael…”

“I really am sorry,” Michael says. The sword swings down.

Crowley brings his hands before his face. “Wait!”

The sword stops, inches before Raphael’s face. Michael's arm is shaking. 

“I...I...Let me see him. Once more?”

Michael frowns. The sword lowers. “I will find you,” she says.

Crowley nods, shaking because he knows its true. There is no more avoiding it. He won’t be able to escape to the stars, with or without Gabriel. All he can do now is say goodbye.

Crowley scrambles away from Michael’s fierce gaze. He has to find Gabriel before he’s cast out. He has to say goodbye. He keeps searching, flying about in a panicked frenzy. Until at last he finds Gabriel. He smiles. He doesn’t know how long he has but he’ll spend every last second of that time with his love. 

Then Gabriel raises up a sword of pure energy and brings it down across an angel, forcing their soul down away into hell. Crowley’s mouth falls open. There’s a hardness to Gabriel’s jaw he’s never seen before, a rigidness to his body that looks wrong. It’s not Gabriel. It’s his body, it’s his soul, but it’s not him. 

Crowley knows that Michael is coming. But he doesn’t want to be like that, stabbed and forced out. If he’s going to leave heaven it’ll be on his own terms. So he takes a steadying breath, and he jumps, following after the angel his beloved has destroyed.

-

Crowley woke up in a sweat, breathing hard. He blinked in the low light of early morning and looked across the bed for Aziraphale. He found someone but it wasn’t Aziraphale. He jumped back, shouting a bit as he looked at himself. Well, almost himself. Him but with long, curly hair and golden eyes. 

“No need to shout,” the other him said. “You aren’t in any danger.”

“Who the fuck are you?” Crowley pulled the sheets up around him, covering his chest. 

“I’m you,” the other said. “Well, you from before.”

“R-R-Ra-”

“Raphael. Yes.”

Crowley shook his head. “No, no, no! It’s not true.”

“You know that it is.” Raphael gives him a look, slightly pitiful, slightly amused. “You can’t keep denying me the rest of your life.”

“I’m not even supposed to know about you!” Crowley says. 

“Yes. An interesting side effect of Gabriel’s little search. It seems he somehow cracked the seal on your memory.”

“Is that why I keep...seeing things?” Raphael nodded. “Well how do I stop it?”

Raphael shrugged. “You can’t. You’ll just keep remembering things one by one until you remember it all.” He laid back against the headboard, crossing one leg over the other, foot tapping on the air. 

“Uh.” Crowley studied him. “Can’t...can’t you just…” he gestured about. “You know can’t you just manifest yourself? And then you can take all these feelings,” he shuddered at the word, “and Gabriel and just leave?”

“No can do. I’m not real. I’m just a figment of your imagination manifested in your dream to give you someone to talk to.”

“I’m still dreaming?”

Raphael nodded and Crowley pinched himself, trying to wake back up.

“There is a way to speed up the process,” Raphael said, smirking a bit. 

“I don’t want to speed it up! I want to stop it all together!”

Raphael shrugged and looked around the room. His attention landed on the picture frame sitting on the bedside table. He picked it up. “Awww, aren’t you two just the cutest.”

Crowley glanced over. It was a picture of him and Aziraphale. He didn’t remember ever actually having their picture taken, but there they had appeared one day, pictures of them all over the cottage. They were hugging in this one, Crowley placing a kiss to Aziraphale’s cheek.

“Yes,” he said. “We are. Which is why you need to go away! Just, go back inside whatever seal the big idiot broke!”

“I told you. I’m not real.” Crowley rolled his eyes and Raphael chuckled. “You really don’t want to admit it, huh? Admit that you once loved Gabriel? That maybe, you still do?”

“But he’s not Gabriel!” Crowley said. 

Raphael’s eyebrows rose. “Oh?” His smirk widened. “Then I suppose you’ll have no trouble continuing to ignore your feelings.”

Crowley growled. “Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that I did want to speed up the process. How, uh, how exactly would I do that?”

Raphael smiled and shifted, leaning over Crowley. “Say your name.”

“Crowley.” Raphael shook his head. Crowley sighed. “My name is Crowley,” he assured him. “But...I...used to be the Archangel Raphael.”

Raphael winked.

-

Crowley walked into the kitchen, his feet padding gently against the floor. He felt strange, like that same pressure from his extra set of wings only everywhere. Aziraphale was pouring over some book, stirring a pot on the stove.

“Morning,” Crowley mumbled.

Aziraphale abandoned his post and ran up to greet him, hands on his hips. “How did you sleep, dear?”

“Not great,” Crowley said. He pressed their foreheads together. “You were right.”

“I’m sure I was. What about?”

“Me. Who I was. I...I remember it. I remember it all.”

“Oh.”

Aziraphale’s grip loosened but Crowley shook his head, urging Aziraphale to not let go. 

“It doesn’t change anything. I love you and that’s the only thing I’m certain of. It’s not like I’m going to go running off with him or anything. That was a long time ago. And he’s not even him.”

“Not him?”

“It’s hard to explain.”

Aziraphale nodded and hugged Crowley. “I love you, too, my dear.”

Crowley closed his eyes and breathed, inhaling Aziraphale’s scent of lavender and old book. A long time ago he had steeled himself to give Gabriel up. And he did.

Someone that wasn’t them cleared their throat. Gabriel was standing out in the hall, his suit back together, his skin once more flawless. Aziraphale’s hands closed by his side in anger. Crowley only felt sad.

“Aziraphale,” Gabriel started. “I apologize.”

Aziraphale blinked, anger once more replaced by confusion. “I’m sorry?”

“Oh yes, that is how it’s said. I’m sorry, Aziraphale.”

“Uh...okay. You can go now.”

“I can’t.” Aziraphale’s anger came back. “I’m not allowed to leave until I fulfill my purpose.”

“What are you going on about?”

Gabriel’s eyes finally glanced over at Crowley. “Raph...Crowley told me that I had to find a new reason for life, since the war was off.”

“And? That has what to do with you being here?”

Crowley knew where Gabriel was going with this. He grabbed Aziraphale’s hand, because he knew he was not going to react well. But he hoped that he would.

“I’m going to atone,” Gabriel said. “I’m not leaving until I have fully made up for my past actions against you. Against both of you.”

“You can do that by leaving us alone forever,” Aziraphale said. Crowley closed his eyes. Cause that’s what he figured Aziraphale would say.

“I see. Very well, if that is what I can do to fix things then I will.” Gabriel straightened his coat and looked at Crowley. “Crowley. May I...press my face to yours one last time?”

Aziraphale gave Crowley a confused look. It wasn’t like it was an actual kiss, right? He could do that without cheating on Aziraphale. Couldn’t he? Besides, he had never gotten that last goodbye of his from before the fall. Now was a good time. 

Crowley squeezed Aziraphale’s hand and nodded, stepping up to Gabriel. Gabriel leaned forward, pressing their cheeks together in a way that made Crowley’s heart flip in his chest. 

“I’m sorry,” Gabriel whispered.

“Just keep finding new ones,” Crowley whispered back. “That’s how you’ll make it up to me.”

“You will always be my purpose,” Gabriel said, voice so low Crowley almost didn’t hear it. 

Gabriel pulled back, nodded at them, and then left, a crack of thunder across the sky as he traveled up to heaven. Crowley took a deep breath and stared at the spot he had once been.

“Crowley.” Aziraphale stepped up and took his hand again. “I think we need to have a chat.”

-

Gabriel had a plan. It wasn’t an entirely well-put together one, but it was a damn good one if he had anything to say about it. And he did have anything to say about. After all, in a few hours, he would meet with the others and would propose his new plan for restructuring heaven. This was his new reason. To bring heaven back to what it once was, to what it should be.

The door to his office opened and closed swiftly. He looked up, startled to find Crowley there, pressing his back against the door, eyes scanning the room to make sure they were alone.

“Crowley?” he stood up.” What are you doing here? You can’t be in heaven? If they find you-”

Crowley held a hand up, halting his speech. “I know. It’s okay. No one saw me.”

“How did you get up here?”

“Uh…” Crowley smiled. “Don’t worry about it. We need to talk.”

“I should be very worried if a demon can sneak into heaven. That means there’s a very big flaw in our security and-”

“Aziraphale helped me, okay?”

Gabriel tilted his head. He thought that Aziraphale wanted him to leave them alone. Why would he want to help Crowley sneak into heaven to talk.

“What did you want to talk about?” he asked.

“Ah, yes, well…” Crowley wrung his hands together and glanced around again. “I just thought we should...well...we didn’t exactly…”

“Are you okay?”

“Oh, yes. I’m fine. Well, I’m not exactly. See, I don’t want to never see you again, per say.”

“Per say?”

“Aziraphale and I spoke. And, if you’d like, perhaps we could...still see each other?”

“We’re seeing each other right now.”

“Ah, yes, we are. But I meant...like before.”

Gabriel had a feeling he knew what Crowley was alluding to, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up so he refused to acknowledge it. “Well, it’ll have to wait. I have a meeting to prepare for.”

“Oh?” Crowley stepped closer to the desk as Gabriel sat down. He looked down at the papers on the desk. “What’s the meeting about?”

“I’m going to fix heaven.”

“Fix it?”

Gabriel explained it to him. He wasn’t going to let what happened with Aziraphale happen again. He was going to create a community where there was trust, and open communication, and curiosity. A place where angels would feel comfortable voicing their opinions, and all concerns were taken into account.

Obviously this was going to cause a bit of trouble. After all, open curiosity and the voicing of that was what had caused the first fall. And allowing that sort of atmosphere back into heaven was just asking for trouble.

Crowley had sat down during his explanation. “So what are you going to do if there is trouble?”

“Well. I’m hoping to help the others. If...If something like the past happens again, I hope that they would have the courage to refuse it.”

“Refuse it?”

“Like I couldn’t.”

Crowley settled back down in his seat, eyes searching Gabriel’s face for answers. He was glad he came, for Gabriel had so much he never got to say.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t go with you.” Crowley’s eyebrows furrowed. “I wasn’t strong enough to leave heaven. But I’m glad that I didn’t.” He was squinting now. “See...If I had gone with you you wouldn’t have fallen. Not that I’m happy you did. Quite the opposite, actually. But if that didn’t happen, you never would have gotten together with Aziraphale. And I know you love him. More than you ever did me.” Crowley opened his mouth but Gabriel shook his head. “No, don’t try to deny it. It’s true. And it’s okay. I’m glad you’re happy.”

Crowley reached over the desk, grabbing Gabriel’s hand. “Oh please come back! Come back down!”

“I-I can’t.”

“You can! I want you to, please.”

“No. I promised to make amends and if I go there I will be breaking the one thing Aziraphale asked of me. I can’t do it. I’m sorry.”

“Well, he’s changed his mind.” Crowley’s grip tightened on Gabriel’s hand. “Please. I promise.”

“He did?” 

Crowley nodded. Gabriel looked at those eyes. Those familiar, lovely, yellow eyes. “Do you press faces with him?”

Crowley’s mouth opened, his eyes looking to the side. “Yes?”

“Then...then how could we?”

“Uh…” he shrugged. “Who says you can’t do that with two people?”

“You did. You said it was an exclusive type of love.”

Crowley nodded, mouth still open. “Right. Well. I...lied. I meant that it was...rare. A rare type of love. The could be shared between more than one person. Two. Maybe even three?”

“Three?”

“Or just two!” He smiled. “So. You coming or what?”

“I...suppose. If Aziraphale’s okay with it.”

“He is! Come now. Before your meeting!”

“But-”

“I’ll see you there!” Crowley raced out of the room. Gabriel sat back a bit and sighed. He gathered his papers, maybe they could help with his presentation.

-

There was a knock at the door and Crowley glared at it. Who had the audacity to try and knock on their door? He put his glasses on and opened it, fully ready to give the full on snake-head yell to whoever thought it was a good idea to approach his home. But said person was Gabriel. And Crowley could only stare at him.

“I’m here,” Gabriel yes.

“You are,” Crowley agreed. “Uh, why?”

“You invited me?”

“I did.”

Aziraphale came around from the side of the house, smiling, a little out of breath. “Of course you did, silly. Tea?” He passed between the two of them and led the way to the kitchen. Crowley and Gabriel exchanged a look.

Crowley sighed and followed after Aziraphale. “What did you do?” he asked.

“I’ve just put the kettle on,” Aziraphale said. “What’s wrong with that?”

“No. What did you do.” Crowley gestured out to the hallway, to where Gabriel was waiting in the living room. “I mean, how did you do?”

“It’s not my fault you weren’t listening.” Aziraphale hissed at him, actually hissed, which made Crowley really wish that Gabriel wasn’t in their house so he could take Aziraphale right then and there. “I told you to go talk to him. I told you to make things right.”

“Things were right! But now he’s in our house and it’s weird!”

“The thing is you were wrong.”

“I know you love that when it’s true, but wrong about what?” Crowley asked with an exasperated sigh

“Gabriel is himself. At least now he is.”

“Aziraphale what are you talking about?”

“I’m saying that I don’t mind sharing.”

Crowley was pretty sure he was dead. Or dying. Or dreaming another weird fever dream. Because there was no way that Aziraphale was standing there, telling him that he should date Gabriel. That he could date both of them. Especially because he didn’t even want to.

Aziraphale grabbed Crowley’s waist. “My dearest darling. I love you And I know that you love me. And I’m telling you, with complete honesty. I’m okay if you date Gabriel.”

“But...I mean...here? In front of you?”

The kettle whistled at them and Aziraphale smiled, turning to pick it up and pour out three mugs. “Why ever not, dearest?”

“So you really wouldn’t mind if we held hands? Cuddled up on _our_ couch?” He bent over, face inches away from Aziraphale’s. “Pressed our faces together right before you?”

“What is that?” Aziraphale asked, ignoring all of Crowley’s other questions. “Is that some sort of old angel greeting I’ve forgotten?”

Crowley chuckled. “It’s what he thinks a kiss is.”

Aziraphale laughed. “Oh dear that’s...charming.” He covered his mouth and continued giggling. 

“I refuse to believe you’re okay with this. Husbands don’t usually set each other up on dates.”

“Well, this one does.” Aziraphale put the three mugs on a tray and then kissed Crowley’s cheek before walking down the hall.

“You are the strangest creature I know,” Crowley mumbled after him. 

“Thank you.”

They walked back out to where Gabriel was waiting. He was sitting on the couch, briefcase on his lap, looking at all the things that filled their home and made it theirs.

“Crowley was just telling me about your plans for heaven,” Aziraphale said. He placed the mugs on the table and smiled, sitting in one of the armchairs. He looked at Crowley and gestured to the couch.

Crowley rolled his eyes and sat down next to Gabriel. He didn’t need Aziraphale helping him. He could do this. He’s done this with Gabriel before. Granted, not while also doing it with someone else. 

“Yes.” Gabriel opened his case. “I was hoping to get your opinion on it. I’d like for it to be strong before I take it to the others.” He pulled out papers and handed them to Aziraphale. 

Crowley saw the flash of something and reached in, snagging it. He pulled it out and held it up, studying it. “You kept this?”

Gabriel looked at the snakeskin in Crowley’s hold. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

Aziraphale glanced at them. “What is that?”

“It’s the first snake skin,” Crowley said, staring at it. “When I made them everyone thought it was weird that they shed. But...I didn’t think you actually thought it was neat. I thought you were just being nice!” Crowley tore his gaze away, looking to Gabriel for answers.

“I was just being nice,” Gabriel said.

“Well then why did you keep it?”

“You gave it to me.” Gabriel shrugged, confused at Crowley’s confusion.

Crowley opened his mouth but he didn’t know what to say. What were you supposed to say to something like that?

“Oh for heaven’s sake!” Aziraphale snapped. “Would you just kiss him already!”

Crowley looked over at him, eyes wide. He seriously had to be in a dream. Then he felt Gabriel’s nose press against his cheek, timid, soft, asking. 

Aziraphale smiled and Crowley blushed. He turned his face, so that Gabriel and him could press their cheeks together. Maybe one day they’d kiss for real again. But for now this was enough. This was what they had always had. And despite the fact that Crowley still thought it was weird that Aziraphale was okay with this, he was happy to have this back. Raphael and Crowley were both satisfied. And since they were the same person, Crowley felt more at peace then he could ever remember.

**Author's Note:**

> I made myself sad thinking about how *twice* Crowley got stood up going to Alpha Centauri


End file.
